Look. Apparently, it's getting harder and harder for the armed forces to find recruits that aren't too overweight to be admitted into boot camp.  I guess it doesn't work like Full Metal Jacket, with a fat guy in the platoon to screw everything up.  In fact, the armed forces have collectively rejected more than 10,000 applicants per each of the last four years because they were just too overweight. 

Now I know that our children (we Americans, not we Richmonds) have been getting bigger and bigger, but how the hell do you get so big that even the Army doesn't think they can do anything with you and you think you're just fine?