A guy  walks into a bar and, after staring for a while at a woman seated at the bar, walks over to her and kisses her. She jumps  up and slaps him as hard as she can. He immediately apologizs and explains, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screams.

"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."